One of my friends on facebook has a tendency to use her account for the purpose of reposting things. I mostly ignore this stuff, but then she posted this:
I stared in horror, completely flabbergasted by how someone could possibly think that lying to a child like this will spare them any grief.
Let me tell you a quick story. My art teacher and father figure, R, teaches classes for children ages 6 to 18. He sees a lot of kids from a lot of different backgrounds. This particular child was an only child. His entire family loved him and praised everything he did, particularly his art. So he came into the class with a pretty confident opinion of his art. He was around 12. Now, he was not up to his age level when it came to art skills. He was still drawing suns with rays coming from them and such. R has the class do projects, so everyone is working on the same thing, with their own take on it. So, the kid is drawing and one of the younger children, who is about 6, comes up to him. He looks at the older kid’s drawing and says, “You need some shading right here”. The older kid was absolutely shattered. Existential crisis. His parents pulled him from the class shortly afterwards. The parents had done that kid a massive disservice. I have no idea what happened to him and neither does R. What do you bet he never trusted his parents very much after that though?
Lying to your children and sheltering them from the world is not love. It is selfish and cruel. You are not helping them in any way. The truth will out and they will hate you and never trust you again. You can’t control what your child feels, you certainly can’t do it forever.
What does the person who created this intend to do? Sure, they can tell their daughter she is gorgeous all day long. But, how are they going to keep their daughters away from scales? I get weighed every time I go to the doctor. We didn’t have a scale in the house for many years, that didn’t make me less curious about what I weighed. I would step on any scale I saw. I learned how to use one of those old-school scales with the metal weights because the chiropractor had one in the bathroom. Not having a scale in your home will not fix anything.
How are they going to keep their daughters from hearing “fat” and “diet” in their normal usage? Diet doesn’t even always refer to a weight loss regime. Koalas eat a diet of eucalyptus leaves.
1 [dahy-it] Show IPA noun, verb, di·et·ed, di·et·ing, adjective
1.food and drink considered in terms of its qualities, composition, and its effects on health: Milk is a wholesome article of diet.
If you are going to try and control something, control what your child eats so they don’t get fat in the first place. Teach them good eating habits, teach them to adhere to a healthy diet. That will save them far more grief than turning the words “fat” and “diet” into swear words. They won’t have a bad connotation if you don’t let your daughters get fat.
She will feel the same emotions any human feels, unless she is a sociopath. Does this person want their daughter to be a sociopath? I certainly hope not.
All this will do is turn their daughter into a self important, entitled, unhealthy woman who will spend her entire life unable to get a boyfriend or husband and will have no idea why. Even if she wins the genetic lottery and stays thin, she will still have a deeply unattractive attitude. That and she won’t have any real self-esteem, because she will know internally that the praise is empty and unearned.
If you do this to your daughter, you don’t love her. You hate her.