Monthly Archives: March 2014

Thoughts and Chatter

It seems that lately I’ve become in great danger of being taken seriously around here. I mean, my last post got linked a total of four times and the previous one got linked at least twice. Every time I get accept not having a large audience I suddenly end up on everyone’s radar again. I’m kidding, I don’t particularly care if people pay attention or not.

Anyhow, it seems I’ve accrued some incomplete thoughts and amusing anecdotes that I feel a (very female) compulsion to share.

My horse now thinks that NSR is a tall, handsome treat-and-affection dispenser. She’s disappointed when he doesn’t come to the barn with me. When he does come with me I have trouble getting him to leave, because he doesn’t want to stop petting her. Makes them both happy though, so I can’t complain.

My lovely, dull purple suede purse broke today. Given that it was a birthday gift from NSR I wasn’t just going to let it go, so I set about figuring out how to fix it. Lacking an industrial sewing machine or sufficiently sharp needles I couldn’t just sew it. My final solution was to use two stud earrings in place of rads. After struggling with it for quite some time and stabbing myself in the finger with a very large needle (and trying to keep myself calm while getting myself a bandaid to avoid fainting), I finally managed to get it fixed. I then bent the earrings with needle-nosed pliers so they wouldn’t just pop off. Not the way I was expecting to fix it, but it seems to have worked.

I bought a Buddy Holly CD recently (because I have the music tastes of an old fuddy duddy) and while playing it had to chuckle about the fact that this kind of music used to be considered “devil music”. If only those people could hear the music on the radio today. Even Christian music isn’t necessarily that tame anymore.

On the topic of music, whenever the high school/youth group leads worship at church they select songs that were popular when I was in elementary school. Given they’re younger than me you would think they’d like more up to date music, but I’m not complaining, I love it. I’d especially love it if they decided to sing this one:

I finished Kazuo Ishiguro’s “Never Let Me Go”, which was rather popular when it came out and the first two pages of the book are covered by rave reviews by everybody from The Onion to Slate. I enjoyed it very much, but being a genre savvy person, for me there was no twist. Everything was very straightforward and fit together perfectly. Very much like Kafka’s work in that something about the world is strange and unfortunate, but it doesn’t strike you as terribly strange because of how it is presented. It’s not odd or awkward, it’s just different from our own world and not so much that it seems out of the realm of possibility. Wouldn’t necessarily suggest it for kids due to several (if un-detailed and bland) references to sex. Now, what to read next?

The fact that I used to willingly play educational video games has led NSR to question whether I was ever actually a child. Upon reflection, it does seem that aside from an annoying habit of putting stickers all over everything I never really was. I was always exceedingly sensible, yet somehow as an adult I frequently fail to do basic human tasks like buying the right kind of shipping envelope. I honestly think that if I were a child going through the education system now that I would have been labeled autistic or somesuch. I really have no idea what is going on ever, but somehow can run things with efficiency and do very nice intellectual and creative work. My entire inner workings seem contradictory.

I recently let go of my studio space, because it was too expensive and far away. Dropped off the key yesterday, now both my keyring and my life seem less cluttered. I may see about trying to rent a commercial space at a closer location after I spend a few months saving. I recently had my first sale on Etsy, which is very exciting. Although I shipped it in the wrong kind of envelope and cut my profit in half. Which led me to tell NSR that it’s a very good thing I married him, because I really can’t function well in human society. And that he needs to keep a closer eye on me.

That and maybe if he watches closely he can help me figure out what I do during (internet and in-person) discussions/arguments that intimidates people. I’m not really sure “intimidate” is the right word, but I can’t come up with a better one. I’ve recently started joking with myself that perhaps people start hearing this theme in their heads when I decide to argue with them:

(That picture wasn’t chosen randomly, that is the character this theme belongs to.)

I had other things I wanted to chatter about, but I think I’ll save those for some other time. Too much talking is bad for me.


MS: I Have Better Things to Do than Complain

I make it a point to try to not complain a lot. I try to handle things myself and when I can’t I ask for help. If something someone else is doing is irritating me, I wait at least 24 hours before breaching the topic with whoever is responsible. If I still care in 24 hours it might actually be worth talking to them about and I’ll be calm enough to talk about it rationally. If it isn’t still irritating me in 24 hours, thank goodness I didn’t shriek at the person over something petty and dumb. If it’s that time of the month I wait until it’s over.

Why do I do that? Because I have better things to do than complain and I don’t care to be a thorn in someone’s side. Because no one likes a complainer.

Sure, I could find things to complain about and sometimes I do (mostly feminists), but there’s no fun to be had or value to be gained by complaining. Usually. If there is a cow tooth in your hamburger by all means complain. But endlessly complaining does nothing good to your character or personal outlook. It generally means you are constantly and/or easily offended, which is the exact type of person no one wants to be around.

If you find yourself constantly complaining, take a moment and ask yourself some questions:

Are these things actually important?

Is my complaining helping anything?

Do I need to change some things in my life so I have better things to do than complain?

The answer to the first two is probably “No”. As for the last one, that depends on you. Maybe your life is legitimately abysmal and you need to take some time to change things. Maybe it’s great and you just don’t realize it. Regardless, here are some things you can do to improve your outlook:

If you tend to complain because you get offended, ask yourself these questions:

Why am I offended?

Does that thing really apply to me/people I love?

Then, avoid complaining and do something about it if it is legitimately offensive. Maybe calmly correct the person who is speaking or write out why that irritates you. Then, this is the important step: Leave it behind you. You can’t get bogged down over a comment or a joke. If you’re going to get outraged over something, let it be something legitimately awful and then take action to help stop it or at least help those being harmed. An example of the difference: Girls being called “bossy” is not anything to be offended or outraged by, on the other hand young girls and boys being sold as sex slaves is.

Another thing you can do, it’s so simple and you were probably taught this as a kid:

Count your blessings. Look for things to be happy about. It’s really not that hard to do.

And finally, look for a way to make things fun. NSR is something of an expert at this. Just today he turned a trip to Walgreens into a regular day out to enjoy the beautiful weather. I’m getting pretty good at it too, since I have to figure out ways to enjoy cleaning house and washing dishes. Instead of griping that I’m stuck here washing dishes I can rejoice in the fact that I have my own home to run or that I have so much time to think and create. I could gripe that I need to care for NSR by doing X, or I can realize that if I didn’t have to do X it would mean that I didn’t have NSR who makes my life so much better.

Something else I do to avoid complaining is this:

I don’t do anything I can’t accept the consequences of or live a lifestyle that requires people to cater to my personal desires. Basically, I realize actions have consequences and the world doesn’t revolve around me. I don’t get drunk because I know I’ll get a hangover. I’m not going to move into the city and then demand that a stable be built for my horse. If you think that people should cater to your every little desire, you better be ready to pay them to do so, because they aren’t going to do it just because you feel they ought to. We can’t cater to everyone and we never will.

You could complain about that, but I think you have better things to do.


WH: Protruding Hipbones and Beauty Perceptions

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People, particularly women seem to get caught up in the idea that there is one specific ideal for all people, or there isn’t an ideal at all and we should all be celebrated for existing. The fact of the matter is that is neither are true. The fact of the matter is that there is a healthy range of weight for any given body type. Now I want to show you a few pictures of animals to address the original poster.

This horse is too thin.

This horse is too thin. Source: Wikipedia

This is the type of animal that the original poster is referring too. Hips and ribs are prominent, as is the spine. Note that the hips are prominent at the front, top and back. The word to describe this animal’s overall appearance is “sunken”. This animal is indeed a victim of neglect. Now, compare that animal to this next one.

Dagat-Geli

An Akhal Teke in perfect health. Source: Wikipedia

This horse is also thin, but it is perfectly healthy. The ribs are showing, but not as prominent. The pelvis is also showing, but only at the front. The spine is padded with a reasonable amount of flesh, but no excess fat. As a standard Akhal Tekes are maintained in athletic perfection, not through dietary restrictions, but exercise. Traditionally Akhal Tekes were supposedly fed butter and eggs to supplement their hay. The person in the original post would posit that this animal is unhealthy on account of the lack of fat. However, the shiny coat and confident head position speak differently. A starving horse has a dull coat and downcast demeanor. Now compare this animal to the next.

This animal is too fat.

This animal is too fat. Source: Wikipedia

 This animal is not healthy, it is too fat. You can see that especially where the spine meets the pelvis and the neck. Its withers, spine and hips have been completely engulfed by fat. And maybe it’s just because it’s wet, but the animal also looks vaguely uncomfortable just standing there. According to the Henneke Scale this animal scores an 8, which means, “Apparent crease down spine; ribs difficult to feel; soft fat surrounding tail head; fat deposits along withers, behind shoulders, and on inner thighs; neck is large”. You can look at the linked page and see the studies on the various effects that weight has on athleticism and reproductive success. Too fat and too thin have similar health effects.

No visible ribs, no rolls of fat. A happy, healthy horse.

No visible ribs, no rolls of fat. A happy, healthy horse. Photo copyright to me.

And finally a normal, healthy animal. A smooth, rounded body with padding around the spine but the ribs are still near enough to the surface to affect the way the hair lies. Shiny hair, good muscle and a curious, friendly disposition. Note that the front of the pelvis is still very near the surface, that doesn’t disappear unless a horse is too fat.

So, which of these animals are the nicest to look at? The two healthy animals, not the fat one, not the starving one. Though certainly all of these animals would be pretty if they were given proper care. The same goes for women. A woman who is fit, healthy, has perky boobs and a nice bottom will draw the most attention from people. Especially men. I have yet to encounter a man who specifically wants an emaciated woman. So the supposed standard of beauty that these women are complaining about is not one that has been put in place by men or the “Patriarchy”. Women force this on one another. They tell a perfectly healthy girl they don’t like that she’s “fat” in order to harass her. A girl looks at an airbrushed magazine cover and mistakenly thinks that she needs to be like that, and thinks she must starve herself to do so. Anorexia is neither beautiful nor healthy. It is not demanded of any average person by society at large.

Then there are the women who are too heavy and don’t want to make changes to their lifestyle so they can be healthy. So instead they call for their unhealthy lifestyle and bodies to be considered beautiful. Silencing the voices will not suddenly make the reality of your condition go away. Being too heavy is just as dangerous to your overall health as being too thin. People who are telling you to consider losing a few pounds are trying to help you. Does that fat pony up there look happy to you? No one is shaming him, but the physical discomfort is still evident. His chances of breaking down are higher than that of either of the healthy animals. He would be healthier and happier if his owner cut his grain and slowly upped his exercise.

It would help if people just told women the truth and women accepted it. You will be more attractive and feel better if you are fit and healthy. Starving yourself does not make you either of those things. Neither does eating massive amounts of sugar and carbs. If you are not sure what a healthy weight is for you, you need to go to the doctor and find out. Don’t depend on the media or people who try to insulate you from the truth. Everyone has an individual body, their ideal is slightly different from everybody else’s. But no one should be participating in lifestyles that will shorten your life and bring complications.